Eat For You Dietitian

Sometimes I feel bad in admitting this but I feel I need to avoid family members because of the unwanted comments I receive about my body shape, and my weight. This could be a very quick passing encounter but will 9 times out of 10 result in an opinion about my body. Most recently I saw a family member very quickly, thinking I could get away before she said anything I did not want to hear. I was wearing a thick cardigan and scarf over a high neck thin dress and black tights. You could barely see the dress I was wearing. However once again I was told that ‘I’ve gained weight’, I replied saying ‘oh is that so’ and because she thought I needed approval, she replied saying ‘it’s ok though, you still look ok.’ I replied with nothing but a goodbye as I was on my way out. As background, my parents come from South American backgrounds, this particularly family though is from the beautiful country of Ecuador. They are never shy of these types of comments right to your face. 

When I was a younger and well into my twenties these would destroy my self-esteem. For years I believed I had to be a certain weight and I had to keep exercising regularly to maintain it and especially I had to maintain a certain clothes size. I think I was quite lucky that I grew up from being the fat kid to the curvy teenager in all the right places. My families wording not mine. Even my mother would show joy towards me when she saw I was UK size 10 in clothing and then think I gained weight when she saw a UK size 12 in something else. Newsflash! In different shops and different clothing you can buy different sizing!

Nearly every time I see my mum’s side of my family the topic will always go towards weight. The funniest, most recent time was going to the spa with my cousin and mother. I’ve done a great deal of personal growth on my body image and self-esteem that these comments no longer lead me to calorie counting or over-exercising again. They pass by me because MY BODY DOESN’T NEED ANYONE’S PERMISSION TO BE.  It has taken a long time to come to terms with that. Anyways going back to the spa, already being in a vulnerable position of being in a bikini, I got asked what my weight is and then my cousin compared the size of her thigh to mine. Honestly this situation made me feel sad. She’s twice my age and she continues to fixates on her body size every day. What she doesn’t know is that I move/exercise for strength not for weight loss, I eat for joy not for weight loss and that our bodies are meant to be different, and lastly why do you even care! How will it affect you in any way? 

I don’t blame any of them for being this way. It’s deep rooted in our culture. Nicknames ‘gorda’ ‘gordita’ ‘flaca’ ‘flaquita’ are all too common and I have been called all of them in my life. I wish they could see the amount of energy wasted on discussing the number on the scales and the justification on how much we’re eating in front of each other.

It’s my last year of my twenties and I can without a doubt say – I don’t care what you think of my body or my weight. My body is not here to please you or anyone else. Please if you haven’t started your journey towards this mentality, it’s time to start now. Stop counting any calories eaten or burnt, macros on your plate, total weight of anything and start living in the body you have now.